Friday Night Kickoff

If you thought this one was going to be one of those serious breakdowns of each position and how each team will fare against whatever formation each other will throw at them... You're wrong

It's been such a serious week, so we'll break it down... scientifically.

Greatest Moments in Football History
St. Joseph:  1988 State Finals
Lakeshore: 17 Game Win Streak against St. Joe

Advantage: St. Joseph

Home of...
St. Joseph:  Whirlpool/Maytag execs
Lakeshore:  Whirlpool/Maytag execs

Advantage: Push

Fine Dining...
St. Joseph: Bistro on the Boulevard
Lakeshore: Santienellos

Advantage: Push, I can't afford either one.

Cozy places to have breakfast
St. Joseph: Dino's
Lakeshore: Bert's

Advantage: Lakeshore, (Dino's just isn't Nicholson's)

Local Pizzeria's
St. Joseph: Passero's
Lakeshore: Flour Shop

Advantage: St. Joseph, the sauce is worth it...

Distance from the nearest Walgreens:
St. Joseph: About a half mile
Lakeshore: About a half foot.

Advantage: Lakeshore

Eateries near the stadium
St. Joseph: Roxy's
Lakeshore: does it matter????

Advantage: St. Joseph... I love Roxy's

School Colors
St. Joseph: maize and blue
Lakeshore: red and white

Advantage: Push, I like the Maize and Blue for St. Joe and U of M.  But I am a die hard Detroit Red Wings fan, I've even touched the Stanley Cup. So I have an extensive collection of red and white.

Stadium pressbox cuisine
St. Joseph: varies from game to game, pasta, chicken, sandwiches.
Lakeshore: Fried chicken and sandwiches from Heavenly Ham

Advantage: Lakeshore (just need those pickles from Heavenly Ham Tom and I'd really be happy)

All Name Team:
St. Joseph: Frank Nyambweke, Belem Mpamba
Lakeshore: Coco Johnson

Advantage: Lakeshore, can you say Nyambweke and Mpamba without messing up???

What the nicknames do?
St. Joseph: Bears, they maul you.
Lakeshore: Lancers, they violently poke you

Advantage: St. Joseph

Summer Events
St. Joseph: Venetian Festival
Lakeshore: Discover Stevensville

Advantage: St. Joseph, I guess St. Joe wins this by default now

Best places for a hot dog:
St. Joseph: Hot Dog Cart along State Street each summer.
Lakeshore: Culvers

Advantage: St. Joseph

Coaches... Prior coaching locations
St. Joseph: Michigan, Western Michigan, Navy, Ohio State, Indiana, Georgetown, Minnesota, Maryland, Colorado, Cleveland Browns.
Lakeshore:  Dowagiac, Hartford

Advantage: St. Joseph... Come on, he knows Lloyd Carr, Bill Belicheck, he was friends with Bo... I don't need to say more do I?

Touchdown celebrations...
St. Joseph: Lights on the scoreboard, horn.
Lakeshore: Fireworks.

Advantage: St. Joseph, fireworks pollute the atmosphere and are a fire hazard.

Marching Bands:
St. Joseph:  D-1 ratings at Marching Fest each year, even back when I was playing drums at St. Joe
Lakeshore:  D-1 ratings at Marching Fest each year, State competitions, Fiesta Bowl trip

Advantage: Benton Harbor (Sorry, but the TMB is still the tops when it comes to exciting bands for a football game)

Biggest irony
St. Joseph: Lakeshore drive runs next to the stadium
Lakeshore: St. Joseph drive runs through downtown Stevensville

Advantage: Push

Second biggest irony
St. Joseph: The "City" boys play on real grass.
Lakeshore: The "Farm" boys play on fake grass. 

Advantage: Lakeshore

Polish Radio Announcer
St. Joseph: Bret Witkowski - "The Taxman"
Lakeshore: Al Pscholka - "The Polish Prince"

Advantage: St. Joseph, don't want the taxman upset at you.

There you have it.  We've broken the game down scientifically.